Fed up with dating? Make it fun again.
Dating is a, pretty much unavoidable, prequel to getting into a relationship. But if it doesn’t amount to one, it’s easy to lose our enthusiasm for it.
Going on dates starts to feel boring, annoying, frustrating, like a chore. You feel stuck in this endless dating loop, going on new dates over and over again, and nothing else happens, just more dates with more new people.
How to put fun back into it? Here is what I think.
What’s your general feeling about dating? Fun, boring or terrifying?
Please comment below! Thank you.
Gave up on dating. Been on more than 30. Need a resume, cover letter, last pay stub, retirement statement, and last year’s taxes.
I wish I were able to get even one date. That sounds pathetic but I have never even been offered a date .
I kind of wish they could feel like a chore and I could go on dates over and over again. But a date is incredibly rare for me. I’m 30 and can count the number of dates I’ve had on one hand: 2. If I can barely date, the chance of a relationship seems even more out of reach.
Have you been putting yourself out there? Women usually don’t have to try very hard. How old are you? Do you smile, guys like girls who smile.
I am 24 🙁 It doesn’t really matter if I put myself out there (whatever this cliche is supposed to mean). I am not worthy of dating at this point in my life. You are saying that women usually don’t have to try very hard to get dates? In my case, getting a date is proving unattainable.
“Women usually don’t have to try very hard.” Total myth. And that’s not even counting make up, staying in shape, clothing, etc. From a woman’s point of view, we have it pretty hard b/c men seem to be the ones that do the choosing in dating, and we have to wait around and be picked.
From a guy’s point of view, I guess you feel the opposite? That women do the choosing?
Either way, it’s two sides of the same bad deal. Even if you are walking around looking like a god or goddess, you could have it just as bad as someone less appealing.
Ok Tam, fair enough. It’s not easy for women either. Some of us boys never grow up; I had to be knocked on the head a few times. We don’t know what we are missing. Any love is good love. I think that I can finally tell when a woman is interested in me, not that there have been that many. But women can also make the first move. To me, there is nothing sexier than that. It doesn’t mean that you are easy, it just means that you are confident and go after what you want. That is power, and power is sexy.
Good luck to both of us.
I agree. Women can, and probably should, make the first move in some cases. But it’s hard to escape the conditioning of growing up thinking “the guy will ask you out”. I’m sure it’s hard for guys, feeling the pressure of having to ask all the time. It’s a messed up system we have here.
I doubt it is good for a woman to make the first move. She will either come across as easy or desperate- both not pretty labels. Even if initiating contact is supposed to mean confidence that’s not good either. Men don’t like confident women who know what they want and who are resourceful. Men only say they want confident women, but when such a woman actually does show up, they are too scared of her and see her as a threat to them.
OMG EXACTLY how I feel, Klaudia! So many sites and books say to be confident and assertive in dating, and then we really don’t get rewarded for it, do we?
I almost wish it could feel like a chore or go on dates over and over again, but dates are extremely rare for me. I’m 30 and I can count the number I’ve had on one hand: 2. What do people do that feel like even the idea of a date is almost impossible? And with that, a relationship seems even more out of reach.
If that is your experience, I will respect that. However, if a man takes it as desperation on your part, he is not the right one for you. Easy filter.
Relationships are timing. If the man is ready and circumstances are right, nothing stops him. We are weird like that.
You can make the first move, but still make him work to keep the relationship. We love to chase, but the woman can peak her head out initially. We need to know that it’s a mutual attraction.
I’m sorry that you have experienced differently. If they didn’t respond, either they weren’t ready, not right for you, or just plain dumb.
Have a great New Year!