How you look is not the issue

look-not-issueOf course we all assess potential partners’ looks as part of a selection process. That is usually the first criteria we apply – do they look the part? Do we look the part?

It’s not that I think you should completely ignore appearance in your search for love. I don’t think you could, even if you tried to.

But you can and you should be able to look past it – otherwise you’ll always be reducing yourself and others to only one, shallow dimension of attraction.

There is no way you’ll ever be happy, truly happy in love, if you measure yours and other people’s appeal primarily through looks.

And here is why.



What’s your opinion on the importance of looks? Do you feel your chances to find your one are heavily dependent on it?

Please share in the comment section.


You may also like...

5 Responses

  1. Klaudia says:

    Looks are hugely important, no matter how much you want to deny it. I have been told a few times by men how unattractive I am. On the other hand, I see plenty of women who don’t take care of their appearance at all (not to be confused with attractiveness) and somehow they manage to find men. Obviously, those men are of similar sort to those women. All men care about is looks! I understand the objections raised by one of your readers. I, myself, don’t see how people like you can help anyone find a long lasting relationship that will turn to marriage. This is simply not true that everyone will find love in their lives in good enough time. This is caused by a number of factors that are beyond woman’s control- one of these factors being physical appearance.

  2. CT says:

    Hi Petra,

    Thanks for this video! I really needed to hear this today. “Beauty is only skin deep” – this is an old adage and even though in our media-saturated culture it is sometimes hard for people to see it and believe it, it remains very true!

  3. CJ says:

    I never post on anything, but feel so strongly on this one. I agree with you, Petra- looks are not the issue! Everyone has something beautiful about them. It’s about confidence and a willingness to see beyond what is skin deep. Self-love and self-worth will set you free.
    And ps, Petra – you are very beautiful!

  4. Susie says:

    Looks matter less with age, and can be counterbalanced by other qualities. What is important is to be on an equal level. I worked intensly with a man who in my opinion wasn’t attractive. He was shorter than me and walked funny, but oh – his brain! Circumstances made us part, but I’m still wondering whether or not he was my soul mate.

  5. Marty says:

    I think looks are more important for woman money more important for men in the dating game.A wealthy man will always meet more potential partners than a average man.
    A good looking woman will always get plenty of potential partners than average looking woman.
    It’s just how it is and remember there’s no such thing as destiny and there is not always someone for everyone.
    Luck is always in there of course some are lucky others like myself are not unfortunately life’s like that.
    Regards Marty.

Leave a comment: