Online dating, good or bad idea?

Online dating has pretty much established itself as the new mainstream way of meeting potential partners. But even though it seems like a much easier and faster way to meet than real-life search, it’s not without its challenges.

Many people find it frustrating, time-consuming, and just overall – not that efficient.

Let’s what could be the problem.

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16 Responses

  1. Ronald DiMicco says:

    Hi Petra,
    Your Blog on online dating. This information is very true I just realized, and thinking about your advice, I already know that it will improve my online dating experience. Whatever I feel in real dating will carry over in online dating. It has happened to me just as you explained. And because we have more choices, and know that the other wants a relationship just like us, it is a more intense pain.
    Thank you, you never disappoint me.
    Ron DiMicco

  2. Klaudia says:

    I have very negative experiences with online dating. Absolutely no success there. The worst part of it all is ghosting. I will never try online dating again and would not recommend it to anyone. Unfortunately, I have no routes available to me to find a relationship.

    • Ron says:

      Hi Klaudia,
      You have to take the good but throw away the bad real fast. Bring it into the real world immediately! ! Then it is just a way to reach out, period!.

  3. Sandra says:

    Hi guys IV been talking this guy online that I meet about 2 months ago , we are thousand miles apart, we know everything about each other and he did say he likes me alot , but I can’t keep doing it so I told him that we should stop talking but instead he said he would love to keep talking to me for the same reason of meeting up soon. What should I do?

    • Petra says:

      If you can meet regularly, makes sense. Otherwise… probably won’t last. It’s hard to build a proper relationship with such distance between you. And it’s hard to know someone’s real feelings if you don’t spend time together in real life. Take care

  4. Sandra says:

    Thanks Petra, should I just tell him the ultimatum or gradually stop talking to him?
    But I like him alot ,this is so hard

    • Petra says:

      Just do it the way you would like him to do it to you. It will hurt, but what would hurt less, be more fair and honest? How would you like someone to break up with you?

  5. mary says:

    After a couple years of lurking on online dating, I am done. I tried connecting with the few guys I found attractive, but never got responses. Some cases I’ve heard they may have never gotten the message because I didn’t pay. I only paid for one service and it didn’t help. Match is ridiculous that you both have to pay. And I got tired of seeing the same faces over and over. And they look so much older than their age! Are they lying? It’s actually a relief just letting it go, I usually felt bad while scrolling through and feeling like there is no one really I find attractive/interesting! And how many times can you hear I like fine dining? Boring! Now I just feel like if it happens, it happens. Thanks for the vlog! It is like supermarket shelves haa

  6. Sandra says:

    But I just do not know how to do it?

    • Petra says:

      Hi, it’s not that you don’t know, you are afraid of the consequences – both hurting him and yourself. If you’re not ready, don’t do it. Time will tell if your relationship is strong enough.

  7. Sandra says:

    I know exactly what you mean. I want to do it because it’s driving me crazy and he’s not doing anything to make it work besides chatting everyday . It gets so tiring and I want to know how can I put it in such way that he would understand what I want and go from there ,because I can’t seem to wait

  8. cassandra says:

    Hi Petra,
    I just recently came across your website and am absolutely loving the vlogs.
    I really liked this one in particular because it was an accurate expectation and representation of what to expect from online dating…so thanks for the honesty.


  9. Sheila says:

    My experience tells me not to take online dating too seriously. Its very difficult to get anywhere (I am 64 but it happens across ALL age groups). But that probably is NOT a reflection on you.
    Dont lose sight of the fact that dating site owners dont really want you to get ‘fixed up’ because they want you to keep coming back and paying. So how do they organise the matches??
    Of course they will advertise successes to draw people in – because they want your money. But I believe success rates (whatever that can mean – and we cant really be sure) are in reality microscopic.
    I am aware of very few serious/scientific critiques and analyses of internet dating – the few that I have seen make very interesting reading. Success can depend on demography and geographical location ( this is only two of several factors).

    I suspect you have to be incredibly persistent to get anywhere but the negative reinforcement experienced can wear you down. You are then conditioned to believe ‘it will never happen’ and its almost a self fulfilling prophecy because your mindset influences your behaviour. However this does not alter the fact that the way most peoples lives ‘work’ means that its difficult to meet other singles. In 7 years being a single im just not aware of meeting any single men (offline) – certainly not ones I would wish to date. I do meet men (very occasionally) who I find attractive (eg at rate of 1 every 2 years or so) but they always have a partner! It is all vegetable slow – however its better to be alone than have a ‘partner’ who is not ‘right’.

    I would imagine many people come out of internet dating eventually through lack of success. But again you get driven back because unfortunately in real life it is also very difficult to meet anyone. I have had one 6-month relationship in 7 years. Not a good score at all (but better than some people experience).

    But at least one can enjoy ones health wealth, freedom and personal development and ponder on the failed marriages and relationships of others. They are not so ‘lucky’!
    Best wishes to Petra all readers and take care on these sites as there are some dodgy predators out there.

  10. NerdGirl says:

    Online dating seems to only work for people with certain looks and personality types. Good looking extroverted “feeler” type people (the natural flirts) are usually more successful than average looking introverted thinker types. I’m an introverted thinking woman (INTJ), I’m an attractive woman and at the time was in my late 20s to about 32 before I stopped trying, and I’m very specific about who I am and what I want on my profile; but the guys I encountered claim their is no chemistry or they don’t “feel” it with me when we meet in person. They had unrealistic expectations, and expected this instant spark or explosion to happen between us. They say they want a smart, fun, laid back woman, but when they get her they don’t know how to act. I got tired of it, and I quit after 4 years and 52 first dates that never lead to a second or third. I found better success in social interests groups like meet-up and community activities where I can meet people organically with common interests. If you’re not the flirty and bubbly type with exceptional good looks, doing things the natural way will give you better results. I would never wish the disappointment and baffoonery I experienced with on online prednisone dating on anybody.

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