We had that special connection, will I ever find it again?
Love comes to us in different shapes and sizes. And sometimes we meet someone who touches are heart so fast, so strong, so incredibly deep – that we feel we found a true soul mate.
The connection is almost instant, and sooooo powerful – there is amazing chemistry, but also – we feel like we are connecting on so many levels, like we never connected with anyone else before: emotionally, intellectually, spiritually… everything just clicks.
We read each other’s minds and hearts. We know how the other one feels and we know how to respond, intuitively. Everything feels like magic when we’re around each other.
When this happens – you think you hit the jackpot of love. This is what you’ve been looking for your whole life. This is IT.
You thought it doesn’t exist – but hey, here it is. And it’s incredibly unbelievably wonderfully amazing. Nothing can go wrong with this special connection.
Until it does.
Life gets in the way. One of you is already in a relationship, and can’t find the strength to get out of it. You live on different continents. Your family is against you being together. Your partner has a troubled past (or present). An ex is casting a shadow on your happiness.
All the usual suspects.
But surely, your think, what we have is so special – our love will prevail.
Sometimes, unfortunately, it doesn’t. You find out that no matter how amazing your connection is, it can still break under the weight of reality.
Sometimes it lasts a few months, sometimes a few years. But not forever.
And suddenly you are left alone, shipwrecked on an unknown shore. In a much worse place than you’ve ever been before – because this was real love. If that didn’t last, what will?
You’re left with a bunch of hard questions, and no good answers. How could this happen, when our connection was so strong? We love each other so much, why can’t we be together? Isn’t love ENOUGH?
I never felt this way about anyone, how can I go back to settling to ‘mediocre’ when I know how great it can be?
And will I ever be able to find it again? Oh no, I certainly won’t!
Isn’t it only logical to think that this kind of connection happens only once in a lifetime?
Well, it’s no more logical than thinking it never happens. Or that it happens 2 or 3 or 25 times.
But what is logical – is to conclude that special connection can happen. That it can happen to you. Because it happened, didn’t it?
The only thing you have proof of is: that it is possible, and it’s possible for you.
So instead of wondering how something that magical could still fail – ask yourself this:
What made it magical, what made it fail?
Those are the real questions for you, if you want to find it again. And if you find those answers, you won’t have to wait until you stumble upon it again.
When you know what it was that made you tick, you can actually look for it. Same with understanding why it went wrong – you can make sure you don’t fall into the same trap again.
There may not be one simple answer, and a straightforward formula, but the more you know what really makes you happy and why, and what doesn’t – the easier it will be to get it.
Because, it’s not only possible – it’s also very probable you will find it again. And guess what – it will be even better next time.
Yes, it CAN be even better.
Just because you can’t imagine it being better, doesn’t mean it can’t. Don’t think all you haven’t seen doesn’t exist. After all, didn’t you once think that even this level of connection was impossible?
And, please don’t look back or mourn your breakup. If your special ex was the best person for you, if it was the best love you could ever have – you’d both want to be together so strongly, that there would be no obstacles you would not overcome. You’d simply make it happen. No. Matter. What.
You’ve had a glimpse of what love can be. What true connection can look like.
This was your first time. And it happened, because you were (finally) ready to experience it. Not because it happens once, totally randomly.
It was there to show you what love can be. Not to show you how to be miserable and settle for the rest of your life.
Your ex is not your only chance of true connection, in fact – he/she should be the reason you finally start believing it exists.
But it won’t be exactly the same next time. So don’t compare everyone you meet with the ex either. And keep your eyes, ears and heart open.
Because your next great love might be very different than the one you had. So when you compare everyone new you meet with it, you could miss on something equally amazing – only in a different package.
Love does, indeed, come in different shapes and sizes. Each one equally beautiful 🙂
Did the special, instant connection happen to you? Once or more?
How do you feel about it happening again – what makes you believe it will, what makes you fear it won’t?
Thanks for commenting, sharing, engaging… and all the love!