The real reason women like ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’
I got really intrigued by the overwhelming success and popularity of ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ books. I know that many people read it because they were curious about the naughty sex parts, and probably even more read it just to see what all the hype is about.
But it’s hardly the first mainstream book of its genre – there have been many works of erotic fiction out there for quite a while now. Plus, in this age when everything and anything related to sex is so readily available and practically thrown at us on daily basis, kinky content can’t possibly be enough to turn a book into the biggest bestseller since the Harry Potter series.
I believe the true reason that made this trilogy so big is that there are so many women out there who got swept away by its main character, Christian Grey. If you just take a look at all the heated discussion on the internet – about which famous Hollywood hunk will play him in the upcoming ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ movie – you’ll get the picture: Mr Grey is the type of man plenty of women find extremely desirable.
SO WHAT IS THIS GUY ALL ABOUT?
For those of you who haven’t read the books (and somehow miraculously managed to dodge the related news too), he is super rich, breathtakingly handsome, mysterious and charismatic. Ambitious, successful and driven, he seems to have it all sorted – until you find out he is deeply emotionally disturbed and traumatised by his troubled childhood.
In other words: The Ultimate Bad Boy.
Christian vents his issues through power games in the bedroom – by dominating his sexual partners, but not just during sex. He wants to control his partner’s life to a point where she practically surrenders her free will to him. He tells her what to wear, what car to drive, how much sleep and exercise she needs to have, how much to eat, even goes so far to buy a company where she works – so he can sack her sleazy boss and make sure she doesn’t get harassed by him. And that’s of course all for her own good – he wants her to be happy, safe and fit.
THE RIGHT GIRL WILL SORT HIM OUT
His latest potential submissive partner is a young, naive, indecisive and pretty insecure girl Anastasia – a virgin at 21, so sexually inexperienced that she never even masturbated or had a single orgasm (!). She seems to be the perfect object of his desire and an easy target for his controlling nature, but – she resists it, which makes her much more interesting than the readily submissive ones that came before her.
She falls head over heels for him, but isn’t so keen to play the submissive part – but (or maybe even because of that) he falls in love with her so madly he is willing to change his dark ways and become a nice guy. Which of course – combined with his amazing looks and enormous wealth – transforms him finally into an every girl’s wet dream man.
WHAT YOU LIKE ABOUT MR GREY
What makes all the women fall for Mr Fifty Shades Of Grey (and guys like him) is this:
- He is a wealthy, powerful, charismatic, intriguing man – not to mention also smart, educated and cultured
- Troubled but eager to be “saved” by the right girl, the one who can tame his need to dominate
- He takes care of her and makes all the hard decisions so she doesn’t have to – makes life so much easier
- He makes her feel safe and secure – not just because he’s got tons of money, but because he always knows what to do.
WHAT HE REALLY IS LIKE
How about I put it this way – he might also be:
- So deeply insecure that he had to create this enormous wealth and gather vast knowledge to hide behind it
- Lacking the courage or emotional maturity to deal with his issues on his own, so he projects them on his partners
- A control-freak who can’t be around people who don’t follow his instructions, because he’s too scared of getting hurt
- A man with no idea of who he really is, therefore tries too hard to appear as if he always has all the answers, otherwise he might have to admit he doesn’t – which would crush his enormous but fragile ego.
Plus, I know this is cheating – but try to imagine him average looking, overweight and with no money in the bank. Would he still be able to keep you under a spell of his amazing charm and dazzling personality?
WHY IS HE SUCH BAD NEWS?
Way too many women fall for Christian Grey lookalikes – they seem like an easy way to getting an exciting and full, yet stable and carefree life we all want. And his troubled soul is not necessarily a minus – it’s a sign that he is capable of deep emotions. And we all like to date a guy with some emotional capacity, don’t we?
How many of you girls have at one point or another been attracted to a guy because you thought you could save him from himself? Heal his wounded heart, bring out all the wonderful potential you know he has – and shape him into this amazing guy you know he could become, and he will, because he finally has someone who loves him so much (you!).
Theoretically possible. But unfortunately, doesn’t really work very well in practice. He won’t change unless he himself works hard on his issues. And gets a good therapist. He won’t get magically transformed by your love, he’ll just use it as a crutch at times when he feels sorry for himself.
Until all his wealth and charm eventually stop compensating for his immaturity, and you realise you’re sharing your life with a selfish prick.
If you want to read more on this topic, here’s another article on the appeal of bad boys and why you should resist it!
LET ME HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS
Have you ever been in love with the Christian Grey type? Maybe you still are?
What got you attracted to him?
Please share your story in the comments section. Thank you.