Please fall in love with me

In an ideal world every couple would fall in and out of love with each other at the same time. There would be no unrequited love and no post-breakup heartache. What a world that would be. In the real one, as we all know, that is not the case. There are times when we fall in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same. Other times someone decides to break up with us against our will, leaving us unable to think of nothing else but how to get them back.

When you want someone and he/she doesn’t care, you often think you could somehow reason them into loving you. Your thoughts usually sound something like: “If he only knew how great we’d be together, he’d fall in love with me at once.” – or: “If she only could remember how great we were together, she’d come back to me.” You are puzzled how come this other person “doesn’t see it” – when it is so clear that you two would make a perfect couple.

I believe that when someone is showing no interest in you – provided that you’ve communicated that to them in a clear enough way – most likely it is because you wouldn’t be such a great match as you think you would. In the situation when you’ve already been together and broke up, and they don’t want to try again – that is again a sign that the match was not right the first time.

But let’s presume I am wrong. You would be great together, but for some reason they do not feel that way. How to make them change their mind? What would be the best way, the best tactic to maximise your chances? Is it better to show how much you want them, or pretend you are not interested? Seduce them or seduce others to make them jealous? Stay close to them, or disappear for a while? Will they miss you or find someone new in the meantime? If you beg them to come back, will they think you are pathetic? If you don’t, will they think you don’t care?

As you see, there are way too many variables in play to have a universal tactic that would work for every situation. You’ll just have to give it your best shot. But – I think the real question here is why? Why would you do anything at all? If you’ve made your intentions clear to them, and they are not interested – what could possibly be in it for you? Even if you knew how to, why would you want to engineer someone into loving you?

I know it’s hard to think about it objectively when your heart is full of longing for someone – but if you can take a step aside, and see it without getting too emotional: you’ll probably agree that it doesn’t make much sense. You want someone to choose you freely, to want you with all their heart. To want to be with you without you having to plead and beg for it. Or play hot-cold games. If you agree, than the answer is: don’t push it, if it happens, great. If not – it wasn’t meant to be. Probably for a good reason. You may never find out what it was – but that’s life.

I would dare to say – because someone better is waiting for you down the line.


Love to hear your comments, thoughts and experiences… thanks!

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2 Responses

  1. Hey Petite – I wish I had read this years ago – and now I want to know what is holding up the someone better. hope all goes well with you and tim. see you soon.

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